Learn How Making Small changes, Make BIG Differences to your child.
All Parents want to do their best when parenting their children.
Learn how to help your child or teenager overcome the limiting beliefs that lead to low self-esteem and build confidence and resilience through simple techniques of Positive Parenting .
Encouraging children to realize their full potential, so they will do well at home; at school and in the community. Teach your child how to look, sound and feel confident.
LOCATION: Cranbrook Baptist Church, Wellesley Rd, Ilford IG1 4JT
DATE: Monday 27th November 2017
TIME: 10:00 am -12:00 midday
Light Refreshments Available; Speakers from various professions
Confidence and self-esteem are key to children’s happiness and success. Unfortunately, in trying to help develop these traits, parents can increase their children’s anxiety and make them afraid of making mistakes without realising it.
Come along, and discover the typical mistakes we all make as parents and the solutions and new approaches to adopt to grow your children’s confidence and self-esteemHelp your children develop a Growth Mindset so that they embrace new challenges and are unafraid of making mistakes Gain practical understanding of how to apply these tips and techniques to family life thanks to real-life examples
MINUTES OF THE MEETING
Introduction to Adanna Women’s’ Support Group.
Adanna Women’s Support Group is a community group which was established in 2008. We aim to alleviate poverty in women and children through education, business enterprise and support for the benefit of mainly but not exclusively BAME women. Women from immigrant communities and young parents living within the East London area of Barking and Dagenham, Redbridge, Newham and Walthamstow.We also provide financial education for disadvantage communities to enable them to alleviate poverty and integrate more in society.
The Adanna Women’s Support group meetings offer a supportive and energetic environment where the club members are able to bounce ideas off each other as well as keeping each other motivated to really go out and achieve their personal and professional goals.
For the first Task, The group were split into two groups to discuss what their perception is of a “Confident Child”
A confident child speaks clearly ;Makes friends easily/sociable; know their own mind; Cautious; Ask Questions; Able to make judgements; can teach others; could be quietly confident. Holds their head up; engages well; challenges adults; is in the front ;observes their surroundings.
Walks with his/her head up; happy; fearless; positive behaviour; good manners; good communication; mischievous ;outspoken ;curious ;risk-taker ;more active in class; engages well with friends; always puts his hand up; progress well academically; annoying behaviour; could be bullied. Resilient.
Top Ten Tips For Positive Parenting BY Cherie the Parent Coach
- Be Consistent at all times;
- Praise your child when they are good– good listener ; good little helper
- Create Clear Consequences for unacceptable behaviour– 3 minutes quiet time, remove toys, if your child procrastinates at bedtime to tidy away his or her toys, console games etc. Explain to them that they will have to start getting ready for bed earlier to accommodate this time. E.g. 15 minutes earlier. Boundaries give our children security and teach tehm what is right and wrong.
- Have Clear House Rules– that are positive e.g. Speak politely instead of Do Not speak rudely. Have clear, simple rules and remind your children of them regularly. Involve your children in creating the rules.
- Do Not Ask the Same thing Over and Over Again. Insist the child follows the instructions the first time/ on the second time :-Give consequences if they do not.
- Laugh and have fun together- laughter is the best medicine
- Create Quality time every day– for example, do a board game, go for a walk, reading at bedtime or cooking a meal of their choice together, baking cupcakes.
- Choose Your Battles– count to 5, 10, 20 , whatever works for you and think, will this matter this time tomorrow. If it wont, let it go; BUT If it will, carry out the appropriate consequences.
- Let your children know YOU LOVE THEM! For who they are; and how they behave
- Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect parent; But we can all be good parents and we are all in the same boat. It is a rollercoaster ride.
Strategies for dealing with Teenagers/Youth
To Understand and effectively respond to problematic behaviour, it is essential to think about
- What happened before this behaviour?
- Is something going on in the young person’s life to make this behaviour more or less likely to occur.?
- What are the Triggers? Bullying, change of school, Divorce, Hormones: Are the Triggers Social, Environmental or Physical or even Mental Health
Remember there are good and bad behaviours. Some Behaviour is encouraged; whilst other behaviour is discouraged.
Identify the behaviour you don’t want the young person to do, and agree with them consequences for that behaviour in a “Behaviour Management Plan” (so everyone is clear on what is expected, and what will happen should it be observed.)
- Don’t Assume your child understood your wants and dislikes
- Don’t call out from distance important instructions. Speak to them face-to-face in a low yet assertive tone
- Remember Transition can be hard for some kids, For example if your 14 year old daughter is on snap chat talking with friends, don’t just shout out “BED”. Give them timely warnings that the activity will stop. For example in 10 mins, It will be bedtime.
- Be succinct with your instruction, don’t talk too much at a young person or it won’t be herd and understood.
- Be aware of the situation, environmental and emotional factors that are going on in your teens life.
- Adjust the environment, for example homework time must not be done with toys, music, tv.
- Make parental expectations clear, don’t expect your child to know what they “should do” and “shouldn’t do”. Make your Expectations very clear at the outset. And the consequences if they don’t do it. For example I want you straight home from school, or the consequence will be no play station for 2 nights.
- Give teenagers structured Choices Are you hungry. Do you want your dinner before or after your shower?
- No Negative Attention: Be positive around teens. Well done getting up and catching your train on time. Well done for the work you are putting into keeping your grades up on this Key Stage 3, or Revising for your GCSEs. I am so proud of you. Wow, David, your room has been tidy all well great stuff son.
- Don’t delay or put off, handing out effective consequences for inappropriate or bad behaviour. Be Constant!!
- Don’t hand out Disproportionate consequences. Parents understandably get very frustrated, at times, they may be so frustrated that they over react!. A huge consequence can be demoralizing for children and they may give up trying to behave.
- Positive Consequences. When a child is slow to do something, parents have a tendency to do it for them. DON’T!
- Pick Your Battles, some minor behaviour can be ignored
- Ignore-deliberately withhold your attention from a child who is misbehaving, waiting for the positive behaviour to resume. Active ignoring involves the deliberate withdrawal of attention when a child starts to misbehave. By only giving attention to the child with good behaviour, this is learned behaviour. That only good positive behaviour equals engagement
Remember you are a parent and a friend, check in daily with your teens, keep conversation alive.
Keep high standards and make it a priority to be a family and eat meals together,
Encourage good self care;
Hold family meetings to allow the family to discuss grievances, disagreements, any topic of concern to a family member.
Keep kids safe; keep a track of your Teens on-line activities.
Don’t push your teen into independence before he or she is ready.
Teach your teen consequences and punishment for bad behaviour.
Remain your child’s Emotional and Moral compass,
Keep abreast of the world and technology and the changes in your Teens life
Never give up on your Teen, it is never too late to do repair work and move closer to your Teen.
Every child is a different kind of flower; altogether they make this world a beautiful Garden
The Adanna Women’s’ Support Group would like to say a special thanks to all of our guest speakers, who volunteered their time for FREE; and a huge THANK YOU to all attendees.
Looking forward to seeing you all again on 22nd January 2018 for the next workshop on
“Finding yourself after becoming a mum”
Come and share Fun tips on:- How to be you again, getting in shape, getting your mindset right, happiness health and finding 5 minutes for yourself in a mad hectic day of juggling motherhood, wife/partner, work and cooking….